#6: The Love Formula

Today was a special evening. Munich Toastmasters celebrated the 35th anniversary. It was founded in 1973. Many people attended today's meeting who shaped the club for many years, some of them still do.

Prepared Speech

C&L Project #6 (Vocal Variety): "The Love Formula"
(Inspired by The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R Covey)

Mr. Toastmaster of the evening,
fellow toastmasters and honoured guests.

Introduction

My subject this evening is [meaningful] Love [Pause].

Biologists tend to see love as a mammalian drive, just like hunger or thirst. Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that a consistent number of chemicals are present in the brain when people feel love.

Specific chemicals are prominent during the lustful phase of a relationship. Others commonly found during the attraction phase. And some seemed to be more closely linked to long term bonding and relationships characterized by strong attachments.

Keeping that in mind, imagine a good friend of your is opening his heart and says [weak] "Things might look different on the surface [Pause] but I'm really worried about my marriage. It has gone flat. We don't fight or anything. We just don't love each other anymore. The feeling isn't there anymore. What can I do?"

What would you answer? If chemistry isn't right anymore maybe chemistry can provide a remedy? Is there a love formula?

Main

What about Sildenafil citrate? Sildenafil citrate was indeed supposed to cure a heart decease [and?] Though it failed the clinical test against angina pectoris the male test persons were still pretty happy with this medicine and didn't want to give it back. [why?] It was the moment that by serendipity the formula for Viagra was discovered. [let 'em laugh]

While drugs like Viagra might change your physical abilities they don't change your mood.

[Pause] Pheromones do. In the world of animals they works like perfume and tell everyone in the vicinity "I am seriously horny. I need a mate. Now!". For animals this rather direct approach works pretty good. [pause] Up to now no respectable medical company is offering something similar to humans.

So maybe aphrodisiacs could solve your friend’s problem? Now, I wouldn't go that far to recommend he should put some Spanish Fly in his wife's morning coffee because certain less dangerous food can be an aphrodisiac, too. For example dark chocolate, oysters, ginger, nutmeg – and, yes, even tomatoes and potatoes.

[pause, low voice] To be honest, often the effect of erotic food is more based on belief than on actual facts. [louder] And in the end all this only drives passion – [low] not love.

But maybe preparing food leads us in the right direction. There is a German proverb "Liebe geht durch den Magen". Why that?

[cheeky] I assume that in most cases the quality of the food is not the main reason of the success. In particular if a besotted man cooks for a woman. But what is it then?

Final

Let me go back to the situation from the beginning of my speech. Your friend said "The feeling isn't there anymore. What can I do?"

Well, if you think that love is something that just happens to you by chance and you are not responsible for the feeling [pause, low] you can do nothing but wait until Cupid's arrow hits you once more.

If you believe on the other hand that your feelings are a consequence of your actions then you can give the following advice to your friend: [pause] "All you have to do is to love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate what she does. Affirm her in doing so. [pause]

Make yourself lovable, 'liebenswürdig' again. [pause] Love - the feeling - is a consequence of loving actions. [pause] It can be recaptured. That might be hard work. [pause]

Are you willing to love her?"

If the answer is yes then you have found the love formula.

I hand back to the Toastmaster of the Evening

Reflection

I was prepared and had done my rehearsals, so I was able to speak without notes. That made me proud. I was a bit too fast for the subject and skipped one or two little parts. It could have come more fluently and with more variety. But I am happy with my performance. Ppl liked it as well.

Subjective Feedback (by the lovely Denise)

• What she liked: Almost everything.
• Things to improve: Move out of your comfort zone. Go wild.
• "Serendipity" was picked by the Grammarian as the "word of the day"

Objective Feedback

• Time: 5:40
• Ahs: Fabulous 2 Ahs